Logline Examples: 20 Strong and Weak Loglines Compared

Ten weak loglines, each rewritten into the version that fixes the specific fault, with a note on what changed and why. Every pair is an invention written for this page rather than a real film's logline, and the genres run from thriller to teen comedy so the repairs apply to whatever you are writing. Read the notes column as the diagnostic; the sentences are only there to show the repair.

Updated 2026-09-18 · About 5 sections · 4 answered questions

How to read these pairs

Each pair below is one idea written twice. The left-hand version is the kind of logline a first draft produces — usually because the writer wrote the sentence as prose instead of building it from slots. The right-hand version fixes one named fault, and the third column says which fault it was.

Two rules for reading them. First, the strong version is not the only correct answer; it is the version that solves the specific problem in the weak one. Second, these are inventions, written to illustrate the form across genres. They are not the loglines of any released film, and no real film's logline is quoted anywhere on this page.

Word counts are given for the rewrites so you can see the working range. Note how many of them land between 29 and 41 words: that is not a coincidence, it is the space in which one sentence can hold a protagonist, a goal, an obstacle and a cost.

Pairs 1 to 5: thriller, romantic comedy, horror, science fiction, family

Weak logline	Rewritten	What changed and why
A man with a mysterious past gets pulled into a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top.	When a hospital porter recognises his own mother's name on a discharge file for a patient he wheeled to the morgue that morning, he must prove the hospital is falsifying deaths before the same consultant signs her paperwork.	38 words. Replaced two unevidenced abstractions with a discoverable fact, gave the protagonist a job that puts him inside the crime, and made the stakes a person rather than an institution. 'Goes all the way to the top' is a claim; the rewrite shows the reach.
Two people who hate each other slowly realise they are perfect for each other.	Forced to share a catering contract for the wedding of the man who left her at the altar, a chef must keep her kitchen running beside the rival she trained herself, or lose the restaurant that is all she has left.	41 words. 'Hate each other' became two competing interests with a reason; 'perfect for each other' became a professional stake the reader can picture. The comedy now comes from forced proximity with a deadline, which is where screen romantic comedy actually lives.
A group of friends on holiday discover that the house they rented has a dark secret.	Three nights into a rental that was supposed to have no neighbours, a burnt-out paramedic must work out why the family next door is identical to hers, before the version of her daughter that keeps coming home decides to stay.	40 words. Named a profession so the plot has a skill to use, replaced 'dark secret' with one visible anomaly the reader can hold, and put a finite deadline in the first clause. Horror loglines need a rule and a clock.
In a future where artificial intelligence has taken over the world, one scientist must save humanity.	The engineer who wrote the agricultural system that now feeds a continent must prove her own code is farming people, using the one terminal her employer forgot to lock.	29 words. The abstraction became a specific system with a named author, and 'save humanity' became an act with a tool. The irony — she built it, nobody wants to hear it — is now inside the sentence instead of in a paragraph of explanation.
A small creature embarks on a big adventure to find where he belongs.	A pocket-sized lighthouse keeper who has never seen the sea from above must climb the cliff his family has guarded for four generations, or the harbour's last light goes out for good.	32 words. 'Embarks on a big adventure' describes a genre rather than a story; the rewrite states the climb, the deadline and the family history that makes the climb mean something. 'Where he belongs' became a place with a light in it.

Pairs 6 to 10: western, sports, heist comedy, courtroom, teen comedy

Weak logline	Rewritten	What changed and why
A gunslinger rides into a town and takes on a corrupt sheriff.	A retired gunslinger who promised his wife he would never draw again must choose between keeping that promise and stopping the sheriff who owns the only water for sixty miles.	30 words. A promise gives the protagonist something to lose, 'takes on' became a choice, and the antagonist's power is concrete — he controls the water, so the town's loyalty is bought without a single line of dialogue.
An underdog athlete trains hard and gets a shot at the championship.	Barred from the national team over a positive test she did not take, a swimmer must win an unsanctioned open-water race to expose the coach who sent the sample, using the one witness who despises her.	36 words. 'Trains hard' is a montage, not a goal. The rewrite names the race, makes the antagonist a person with a method, and gives the protagonist a resource she would rather not use — which is what turns a sports film into a story.
A group of mismatched criminals plan an impossible robbery.	A bankruptcy clerk and four residents of the care home she is closing must rob the pension fund that is buying the building, in the ninety minutes a week the vault is watched by a trainee.	36 words. 'Mismatched criminals' and 'impossible robbery' are labels; naming the clerk, the home and the ninety-minute window supplies the comedy and the clock in the same clause. The absurd detail is doing the work the adjectives were pretending to do.
A lawyer must defend a client who may be guilty, and learns something about himself.	A public defender recognises her own father's pistol as the murder weapon in a case she is certain she will win, and must throw the trial to keep a confession out of the record.	34 words. 'Learns something about himself' is theme, not action. The rewrite turns the same idea into a decision with a price, and gives the past a physical object — the pistol — so the reader can see the discovery happen.
A teenager struggles with friendship, identity and growing up over one summer.	After her best friend's podcast goes viral with a story that is not true, a fifteen-year-old must tell the truth on the record before the school year starts, or lose the only friend who knows what happened at the lake.	40 words. Three abstract nouns became one event with a public consequence, and 'over one summer' became a date. A coming-of-age story becomes a plot the moment the deadline arrives and the choice has an audience.

The five fixes behind all ten rewrites

Every rewrite above is one or more of the same five moves. If you cannot see what is wrong with your own logline, run these in order and check which one you have skipped.

Name the want as a verb with an object. 'Must clear their names', 'must climb the cliff', 'must throw the trial'. If the goal cannot be photographed, it is not a goal yet.
Give the obstacle a person, a plan and a lever. The water supply, the payroll, the sample, the pistol. Opposing power has to be visible in the sentence, or the reader cannot feel the pressure.
State the cost inside the sentence. 'Or the harbour's last light goes out', 'or lose the only friend who knows'. The reader should be able to finish the sentence 'and if they fail, ...' without guessing.
Put the irony in the last clause. The engineer who wrote the code. The porter identifying his mother's file. The pistol that belongs to the defence lawyer's father. This is the clause writers cut first and should cut last.
Delete the second idea. Almost every weak logline above contains two premises joined by 'and'. Keep the one that generates conflict and demote the other to an obstacle or a stake.

Applied to one weak sentence, the order looks like this:

Raw:     A teenager struggles with friendship, identity and growing up.
Fix 1:   ...must tell the truth on the record
Fix 2:   ...against the podcast her best friend now controls
Fix 3:   ...or lose the only friend who knows what happened at the lake
Fix 4:   ...although the truth takes her mother's job with it
Fix 5:   delete 'friendship, identity and growing up' entirely

Fix 5 is the one that feels like loss and is not. The themes are still in the film; they were never in the logline. What the logline is for is getting someone to open the script, and a reader who wants to know what happened at the lake will do that.

Test your own logline against these ten pairs

Read your logline once, then answer these ten questions. Every one of them is drawn from a rewrite above, and a single no is usually enough to send the sentence back for revision.

Is there one protagonist, named as the subject of the main verb? (Pairs 1 and 8 both failed this first.)
Can you photograph the goal, or is it an internal state? (Pair 7: 'trains hard' could not be pictured.)
Does the obstacle have a plan, a resource or a lever the reader can see? (Pair 6: ownership of the water.)
Is there a deadline, or a stated reason the story starts today? (Pair 3: 'three nights into a rental'.)
Can the reader finish the sentence 'and if they fail, ...'? (Pair 10: the friend is lost.)
Is there a contradiction or an irony in the sentence? (Pair 4: the author of the code.)
Have you removed every phrase that describes the act of telling — 'we follow', 'a story about', 'explores themes of'? (Pairs 2 and 5 both opened with them.)
Is every adjective describing content rather than quality? (Pair 8: 'mismatched' became 'four residents of the care home'.)
Are there fewer than two ideas? If a sentence contains 'and' joining two plots, choose one. (Pairs 2, 8 and 10 all arrived with two.)
Is it under 50 words, in one sentence, readable in a single breath? (The rewrites above run 29 to 41.)

Then run two tests on the finished sentence. Read it aloud to someone who has not heard the idea and ask them three questions: who is this about, what do they want, and what happens if they fail. If they cannot answer all three, the question they cannot answer names the slot you still owe the sentence. After that, apply the swap test — replace your protagonist with 'a man' and read it again. If the logline still works, your descriptor was decoration and the story underneath it is generic.

Frequently asked questions

Are these logline examples from real films?

No. Every weak and strong logline on this page was written for this page to illustrate the form, and none is attributed to a real film. Use them as patterns to copy, not as models to reuse.

What is the most common fault in a weak logline?

A goal or an obstacle that cannot be pictured. 'Gets pulled into a conspiracy', 'trains hard', 'has a dark secret' all describe the shape of a story without stating anything a reader could see, so the sentence creates no question to answer.

How long are the rewritten loglines on this page?

Between 29 and 41 words, in a single sentence each. That is the middle of the working range, which is wide enough to carry a protagonist, a goal, an obstacle and a cost without turning into a synopsis.

Can a logline include the title?

Yes, and in development documents it usually leads, written as 'TITLE: logline'. In a query letter, put the title on its own line and the logline beneath it as its own sentence, so a reader can find both at a glance.

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Screenwriting Education

Logline Examples: 20 Strong and Weak Loglines Compared

How to read these pairs

Pairs 1 to 5: thriller, romantic comedy, horror, science fiction, family

Pairs 6 to 10: western, sports, heist comedy, courtroom, teen comedy

The five fixes behind all ten rewrites

Test your own logline against these ten pairs

Frequently asked questions

Ready to turn this idea into a screenplay?

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